I have a little girl. She is the most beautiful being I have ever seen. Of course, Mama Joy is #1, there is no argument there.
Joy is one of bundle of,
you guessed it, joy. She smiles from ear to ear whenever daddy gets in through the door. She will raise her hands a little up on both sides signalling that Daddy should lift her up in his arms. Gladly, I take her up, and kiss her light cheeks on both sides and she then proceeds to grin showing her growing four incisor teeth.
She knows Daddy is Superman. Boy, am I glad to just come home every evening. Sometimes, I feel like I should hepa job and get home so that we can play around in the house.
Of course, Daddy picks Baby only when her diapers have been changed. This is because it should be obvious by now, that daddies should not have to do baby girl’s diapers. That’s tantamount to sacrilege.
Kuna watu wa hiyo kazi (There are people who do that job)
As I reflect on how lucky I am, I can’t help but think not everyone enjoys such heavenly moments with baby and her momma.
1. Absentee Dad
It is the role of every man to provide for his family. As every day starts, as a father, you must always ask yourself, “What does my family need? ” He then goes ahead and provides for their needs. When he is successful, he even provides for wants as well. However, this dad not only goes to work, he takes work as an excuse to not interacting with his children. He will leave the house before sunrise and be back after everyone is off to bed. He will rush to every office meeting, so that he does not have to deal with pesky children. He handles children from afar off. He thinks all problems are sorted out by cash or a Credit Card.
2. That’s-not-my-seed Dad
The greatest moment for every father is at that point when you realise that you will be a father. I remember the many times that I spent thinking of how that little creature growing in my wife’s belly looked. Was it going to resemble me? When he/she grows up, what will she do as a career? I planned and replanned all of her life.
The flip side to this is the guy,
who I know is not a real man , who emphatically dictates that the seed is not even his. “Are you sure it’s mine? ” “But you were safe… ” and on and on, he speaks of how she must be mistaken. He acts as if he was not the one who actually got her pregnant. You would think the mother of the child was Virgin Mary. Did such men go through high school biology class? The teacher taught that when a man and woman private parts touch , there is potential to create a human being. He changes his phone number, closes his Facebook account, deletes her photos from his Instagram timeline and registers himself into the nearest church. On Sunday, he gives a testimony in Church of how the Devil temptress-cum-Jezebel ex girlfriend of his, wanted to trap him with a pregnancy from her whoring days. He clearly knows the truth, he just chooses to be selective with the truth.
3. Incest Dad
While thinking of how my baby’s teenage life and campus life, I can only wonder what the men her age will think of her. I always envision her being this strongwilled lady who will stand her ground in all spheres of life. She knows she is always loved by Daddy and he would do anything
including shoot someone for her.
Then there is a stupid ingrate who sees his own child as an object of sexual gratification. Some malaria of the brain shows him that he should look at his daughter the way he should be looking at her mum. Instead of protecting the girl who views him as the Combination of Captain America, Iron Man, Superman and Thor in one, he proves to be a worse villain than Jack the Ripper. He plucks the flower before its due to blossom. His peanut brain is controlled by his gonads and he does the despicable. Researchers point out that the bulk of rapists are either fathers, or close male relatives. Why such innocent love would be violated is clearly beyond me.
4. Distributor Dad
I am of the school of thought that when God created man, He went and created a specific woman for him. I do not ascribe to the thought that there are 7 women for every one man. Every woman should have her knight in shining armor. Many ladies should not have to share. Now I exclude those who are self sufficient polygamous men in marriages taking care of their business.
There are those who think their smooth words and charm makes them the most desirable Bachelor in the country. He loves the pursuit, like the lion savors the chase. He speaks with eloquence only matched by Prof PLO Lumumba. He promises the world, and does not deliver. He says he will cross oceans for you and can’t walk with you in the rain. He talks of gold only to give you gold coated only. He has more than one baby-momma. Each of them is trying to get him to contribute something, anything. He just won’t. He is busy chasing the next skirt around. The children never get to know Dad. They may be lucky if he comes and sees them. It would be easier to spot a lunar eclipse than this one.
PS: I’m not a perfect dad, but do you know what? No child ever asked for one. All they want is an available dad. A father who will be there as she speaks out her first legible words. A father who will pick her up when she knocks herself at the corner of the coffee table. A father who will read bedtime stories as she fades off to slumber land. A father who will give her a piggy ride across the living room. A father who will help remove the first milk tooth, while beating the removed tooth since it was so painful. A father who teaches her how to act in public, as her mum shows her how to be a lady. A father who will set her standard for a capable spouse by treating her mum like a queen. A father who will kiss her forehead as she graduates Magna-Cum-Laude from Harvard. A father who will hold her hand as she goes down the aisle to be joined to her new love of her life. A father who is available.
I am that dad. I want to be that dad.