So, yesterday I disciplined my daughter. She was refusing to take her uji (porridge). Lets get things straight, my baby loves food, like her dad. She never gets to eat enough food, like her mum. So, when I saw her refusing to drink porridge, I knew that she was busy dictating the foods she will take and those that she won’t.
So, I am sitting on the other side watching mama Joy trying to make her swallow the porridge. The young lady then turns her head in all directions. A battle of “Can you drink this please” is slowly being fought in my presence. I look and I can clearly see my wife is on the receiving end. It’s almost like watching Serena Williams and her perfect serves playing against some unknown unlisted Taiwanese player. The fight really isn’t fair. When Mama Joy finally lands one spoon in baby’s mouth, it feels like a battle fully won. Joy, on the other hand, misconstrues her mouth like Mwende from Kanyari’s church. She clearly does not want to take in the stuff.
Some more begging from the mother, but this little thing is just too bright for mama. She knows that if she doesn’t want uji she will make it difficult for her mum to land that spoon in her tiny mouth. So, I was having none of these shenanigans from lil’ Miss Joy.
So, I pick her, carry her to the bedroom and slap her knees. She wails like she has been paid to shout. You would have mistaken her for those professional mourners from some other side of the country.
Anywho, on giving her that “small spank” she cries her lungs out. Her mum comes into the room wanting to act out good cop-bad cop. I shoo her away. She will not be seen as the good parent, and me the bad parent. You see, the small kid is just too bright for her own age. She will cry out when in my arms, and then muffle away her cries once she lands on her mum’s arms.