Officially, this post began as a movie review. I wanted to tell of how good the movie I saw was good, and the acting was on point and all that. However, I have decided to change the focus of this post and tell you what things I learnt and the things that I saw in me that much-needed change.
The movie is “Courageous”. The movie follows the life of four men and their quest to be better as men. It is a movie that I recommend every man watches. It may be a “low” budget film, but it is worth more than the money they spent on it. The movie is produced by the Sherwood brothers, the brains behind “Fly Wheel”, “Facing the Giants” and “Fireproof”.
There are several things that men need to learn, and I am about to list them down. I will also leave you with the resolution that every man needs to personally take.
- A man is the provider for his house. It goes without saying that a man’s primary role is to make sure that there is bread on the table. There is no excuse allowed here. It is the role of the man to make sure that the bread and butter, and other niceties, are available for his family. Therefore, it is beyond criminal, to be lazy and slothful with regards to providing for his family’s needs.
- One man for one woman. Many of the men do not understand this principle. There are just too many love triangles going around, and many of the instances involve a man having more than one partner. It is true that men are visual creatures, but using this as an excuse to start cheating is the highest level of impunity. There is not a single woman you will ever hear complain that her man is giving her too much attention. Nobody will ever complain that she does not understand why her man listens to her. She can never be heard to complain that he is a good lover, a good friend, a wonderful father and a lovely man. A happy relationship and home is only possible when a man decides to make sure that he dedicates himself to making sure he has one woman he is taking good care of.
- A responsible man takes care of his business. There is nothing worse than a man who is irresponsible. A man who does not care about his family, his relationship, his parents and siblings does not deserve to be called a man. He always needs to make sure that everything is in order. If things are not in order, the woman in his life can be able to sleep and say, “My man can sort anything out.” She should be able to brag about to her friends that she has a man who just gets things done, when they need to be done.
- A man values his word. In tandem with that, a man needs to be someone whose word is valuable. When a man says something, you can be 100% sure that he will do as he said. When a man sets out to do something, he does not just get to the middle and face a few challenges and then put up a white flag. He makes sure that he follows it to the end. That is a distinguishing factor for men. Someone said, “Only women are allowed to change their minds without having to face any consequences for it.” Men, it is a must to finish up what you started.
- A man protects his home. Whenever there is any form of danger, the man is supposed to be at the forefront defending his home. The attack may be physical, spiritual, social or emotional. The man takes the center stage and manages the issues at hand. He does that with courage, wisdom and with caution. He does not expose himself to danger carelessly, but he puts himself in harm’s way for the sake of his family. He is even willing to “take the grenade for them” literally. It takes a man to fight off robbers with his bare hands, so that they do not come close to his wife.
- A man is not just a sperm donor. Now, it gets tough, men. Many women are pregnant, but it is very hard to find that they are with the man who made them thus. Apart from the few daring ones who just want the kid, many of them are hurting over the fact that the man refused to take responsibility of his child. Questions like, “Are you sure the kid is mine?” are the order of the day. A man would find it easier to end the relationship then, than try to find a way of making the relationship, for the sake of the baby and for the sake of the young and single mother. Have you ever wondered why mainstream hip-hop artistes hate their fathers? It is because of this. Their fathers thought that their work was over after sleeping with the mothers and many of them do not even know who their fathers are. You can feel the hate that they have for their fathers, and this stems from the fact that men need to understand that being a father involves being the mind-shaper of the kids, their superhero and being their friend. Men, it is your responsibility to be the rock for that woman during those nine months and also to be there for the next 18 years for the child to grown in love, peace and harmony.
- A man treats his woman like a queen. This goes without saying, a man who treats one woman in a million ways is far better than a man who looks for a way to treat a million women. A woman just needs the assurance that she is loved. Women tend to reciprocate love by loving even more than they are being loved. A dedicated man gets a dedicated woman.
- A man prays for his family. Prayer holds a family together. I remember growing up how my father used to wake up in the middle of the night praying for the family. He would spend time on his knees asking God to take care of his family and made sure that each day he had placed us all in the hands of God. Even to this day, not a day passes before he prays for his three young men. Wherever we are, we can always bank on the fact that there are always prayers going to God’s throne for us by dad. The prayer of a righteous MAN avails much. James 5:16
- A man is a leader. In all things good, a man makes sure that he is a leader. He does more than anyone else is doing for the family. He shows what needs to be done, and then does it himself too. He would not expect someone in the family to do something that he himself is not capable or ready to do.
- A man is the judge of the home. All disputes that may or do arise, are solved in the house, and he is the final judge in the house. That is how it was always meant to be.
All in all, as men we need to take the position that God had put for us in the Garden of Eden. He left the instructions with man. He was responsible for keeping the commands and he “delegated” to his wife, and messed up.
Let us be the change we want to happen.
This is the pledge, it is found at http://www.courageousresolutioncertificate.com/
I DO solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for myself, my wife,
and my children.
I WILL love them, protect them, serve them, and teach them the Word of God
as the spiritual leader of my home.
I WILL be faithful to my wife, to love and honor her, and be willing to lay down my
life for her as Jesus Christ did for me.
I WILL bless my children and teach them to
love God with all of their hearts, all of their minds, and all of their strength.
I WILL train them to honor authority and live responsibly.
I WILL confront evil, pursue justice, and love mercy.
I WILL pray for others and treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion.
I WILL work diligently to provide for the needs of my family.
I WILL forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those
I have wronged.
I WILL learn from my mistakes, repent of my sins, and walk with integrity as a man
answerable to God.
I WILL seek to honor God, be faithful to His church, obey His Word, and do His will.
I WILL courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill this resolution
for the rest of my life and for His glory.
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.